Juarez: For Siede, with Love and Squalor, 1975
by sjowall1452
Summary: Walking back down the alleyway of the men in Juarez, Jack meets a 7 year old Brazilian girl, They become friends. The appeal for him of Siede takes him a while to figure out. Title from a Salinger short story.


Squatting by the right–hand corner of the stone and brick building, at the far end of the alleyway of the men, was a small child, barefoot, with black hair to her shoulders, wearing a worn cotton dress. She looked calmly into the blackness to her right, waiting for something. A man with his shirt open halfway down his chest saw her, and said, "Hi, Siede." "Hello, Gally," she said, and he continued on his way She stood up, not quickly, but purposefully, as she saw Jack coming out of the blackness..

Hello, American man," she said, not loudly. "You are alone now," she added, even more quietly. She was perhaps 7, and not large for her age. Jack stopped and looked over to her. At first, when he looked he was afraid of what he thought he saw. Then it became clear to him that she was exactly what she looked like: a friendly child, who probably wanted money, and was smiling at him.

"Hello," he said, and put a fist on her head. Her smile became a laugh, which involved her nose wrinkling. "Do your—people—know you are here, so late?" He spoke a fair Spanish, like many people who have lived in Texas a while.

"Oh yes. But they think I am at the other end of the street."

"And why aren't you?"

"Because I saw you come in here, some time ago, and I thought…perhaps you could give me a little money, for me and my family." She spoke Spanish, but slowly, sometimes. "You wear such nice clothes." .

"I think I can do that. But why didn't you just hold your hand out, and say one word, like most of the children-?"

"I thought I would like to talk to you—also." Jack suddenly felt very glad of this. He found Siede's voice comforting, though he didn't know why. He looked around, and saw one set of steps.

"If you are sure it will be all right with your people," he said, "we could sit there," he nodded at the steps, and as they walked toward them, she took his hand, naturally.

"Do you hold your dad's hand when you walk in the street?"

"I did. But he isn't with us anymore. We came here alone, me and my mother and brothers and sister."

Jack laughed. "I wouldn't call that alone, exactly,"

She wrinkled up her nose again as she laughed. "No." she said. "But…no dad."

"I'm sorry. Where did you all come from?"

"Brazil."

"That is a long way from here."

"Yes. It took a long time to get here."

"What's your name?"

"Siede."

"Does it mean something?"

"I—don't think so. It's just--Siede. What's your name—oh—maybe I shouldn't ask you that."

"Why not?"

"Well...for instance: that man that you went away with, a while ago—you don't know his name, do you?"

"That's true," he said. She nodded, with no special expression. "It's Juan.'

"I'm Jack. It's really the same as Juan."

"Hello Jack."

"Hello Siede."

"It is a common name, isn't it, like Juan?"

"Yes it is. I'm a pretty common man."

"No you are not. You like people. You like me."

"Yes, I do like you." Jack began to see a larger picture, which was not so different, or less frightening, than the one he had first imagined. "Do you stay in this street at night alone a lot?'

'"Yes. The men are often"—she hesitated and then said "generoso.".

"Generous?" She nodded. "In Brazil, and here, there are many words for this. But not many people are like that."

"Yes. I don't think you should be out so late, and in this street all the time. Does you mother work?"

"Oh yes. She is a most wonderful cook. But they don't pay her very much," she looked down. "That's why I have to ask you for money. I don't like asking people for money. So I look for people who look especially nice, like you."

Jack looked around him. Everything looked exactly the same as when he arrived over an hour ago. The stores and other businesses were still open; the men still stood against the walls. Children, with their parents or other adults moved in the square, talking. How nice it was, to sit and listen to Siede talk….

"Do you have friends? Do you go to school?"

"Yes, I have friends, but I don't go to school yet. My mother needs me to take care of the younger ones."

* * *

"So your mother is home now?" 

Yes, I think so."

"I thought…maybe...I'd like to talk to her—if that's O.K. with you."

"Of course, but she has very little Spanish—and of course, no English."

"But you can be my—translator, right?"

"Yes, I think so," and she grabbed his hand, and started almost running to the bright end of the street, so that Jack had to trot to keep up with her.

They turned into a doorway of a stone building, with a few worn stone steps leading up to the door. It wasn't locked. Siede pulled Jack along with her, up a flight of stairs, also of worn stone.

"Mama?" she called at the first landing. Her mother answered the door, but when. she saw Jack, she seemed frightened. Her hair was drawn back and she looked about 30. She still wore her apron from work, much stained.

"O.K. Siede," said Jack, "Now you have to tell her what I say."

Siede spoke to her mother, apparently reassuring her that Jack was a nice man, for her expression gradually softened, and she held the door open, so the two new arrivals could come in.

Her mother said something to Siede. Though Jack thought he understood it, he waited for Siede to translate.

"She wants to know, what are you doing here."

"I think Siede should go to school, and not be out late at night in the alleyway of the men."

Siede spoke. Her mother nodded, .She understood. In fact, Jack was sure she had understood him right away.

"How many are you?" asked Jack.

Her mother answered directly; it was clear that she said something that meant five.

Jack nodded. "The other children are all asleep?"

"I hope so," said Siede's mother, again, easily understanding, easily understood. He smiled.

Jack thought a moment; if Siede knows Juan's name, and that I don't know it, she probably knows what he does for a living. So he said: to Siede's mother, through Siede:

"If Siede doesn't go to school, and stays all night in the alleyway of the men, begging money, she will eventually sell her body to men to earn a living. It is but one street away. Do you not think so?" He spoke softly, reasonably. Neither Siede nor her mother showed any surprise. It was a thought they had both lived with.

"It is possible, yes," said her mother,

Jack took his wallet out of his back pocket, and removed $250; the same $250 he had taken to Wyoming…was it yesterday? For what a different purpose! He put the two purposes side-by-side; at first, they did not seem to be comparable. Except in both cases, the money would make life a little easier for people who had little. Yesterday, he was to have been one of those people It was really not so different, he thought, from what the money was being used for today. Why am I being a philanthropist? I don't usually give away money, except in very small amounts. Suddenly he realized: it was the same reason Siede's voice had been so comforting to him. It is just as important to have someone to love as it is to be loved by someone..

Siede's mother said something recognizable to almost anyone who has been in a Catholic church, anywhere. "Holy Mary, Mother of God."

"No. It's just money," said Jack, seriously," in Spanish, having realized the similarity between the two languages. "I will give you this amount each month. You must see to it that you can live on it, plus your wages, and that your children can go to school."

"For how long?" asked Siede's mother, in Portuguese.

"Until Siede can earn for herself, and as many of the others as is necessary."

"But--I have no bank account yet. How will you get the money to me?" He looked at Siede, who translated.

After the slightest hesitation, he said: "I will bring it myself. If for some reason I cannot, you will get two month's money before. Do you understand?"

She nodded, and burst into tears. "How can we thank you?"

"By doing what I said. And—don't put the money under your mattress. " Siede supplied the word "mattress."

Now she looked at her daughter and said: "I know where. There is a board in the closet that comes up—my wedding ring is there, and a few other things. Siede translated.

"Good."

"Is it not very far to where you live?" asked Siede.

"That's O.K. It's about a nine hour drive, but I like to drive. I'll spend the night in El Paso. Gotta be something for me to do between here and home to help keep me a rich man," he said, smiling at Siede. "Perhaps next month I can meet your brothers and sister."

"Yes. Perhaps soon mama can get a bank account." Her mother had been listening.

"Yes. It is just that there has never been any need."

Jack and Siede went to get the money changed into smaller Mexican currency. Again, as before, she held his hand. "I thought you would do this,' she said, shyly.

" Girl, you think too much, " said Jack, and rumpled her hair.

"Shall I tell Juan you will be back next month?"

"No. "

"So you will come to see us, only!" she said, seemingly just as excited about this as the money. Then, "Juan will be disappointed."  
"Why? What makes you think so? Why should he be? You—do you know what you are talking about?"

"Yes. You are very handsome, Jack."

"He smiled at her. "I hope you are as quick to learn to read as you are to learn the ways of the streets."

"Don't worry, I will be. Pick me up," she said in front of her door. He did, and she kissed his cheek,

"I love you," he said, not really knowing where it came from, but knowing it to be true.

"I love you too," she said, pulling at the back of his shirt as she opened the big door.

He had been planning to drive straight home, but felt suddenly so exhausted; he thought he should spend the night in El Paso. If necessary, he thought, with a somewhat lighter heart, he could tell Lureen where the money was to go (if he could find some way to tell her where he'd been). He didn't think she would disapprove.

And so it happened that very frequently, more frequently than he drove to Wyoming—including the following month when he drove _both _places, Jack drove from Childress to Juarez to see Mrs. Reis, Siede, and her brothers and sister, even after Mrs. Reis got a bank account. After Jack's death, Lureen continued sending the money to her each month. There was no bequest in her will but Bobby (somehow) found out about the Reis children, and the money continued to come for some time. Bobby and Joe both attended Seide's wedding in 1986.


End file.
